D Aftermath 

Waiting for death, the death of my heart… 

The pain will be unbearable, the pain will be inevitable, the pain will be deep but would I survive or would I sleep? 

Fool! fool to think that I could survive this war…. A war of loss, love, hurt and pain, a war of raging emotions that remains the same. 

Waiting for death, for the welcome relief from sleepless nights, the constant reminder of my tainted life… Waiting for death. 

Natty ODou 

…….

Pouring down, blood rain is pouring down…I turn my face towards the sky to taste the sweet nectar on my tongue….smiling as I remembered the cause of this joyous occasion…your pain, my hands… your bleeding heart in my palm of my hands…rain is pouring down…blood rain is pouring down.

Natty ODou

Memories

I hate you, every time I see you I become sick to my stomach, you are like a plague that refuse to leave, you’re a sore that hurts when I least expect it, like a virus that shows no mercy killing everything in its path.

I hate you, you have ruined my life and my dreams…now you take the one thing that my heart desires the most…my saNity. I hate you, I would be rid of you… I would be rid of you even if it means that I suffer for awhile longer.

I hate you and soon you will be out of my life forever…my Demon.

Natty ODou

What is the TRuTH?

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T…your Tender words caressed me with the promise of safety

R…as I Ran to you, you opened the gates of your heart and sheltered me from the cold

U…you Understood the pain I felt as I wrestled with the many ghosts from my past

T…as our Time passed together I fell hopelessly in love with your bravery and honesty

H…you Held my heart in the palm of your hands while I surrendered myself to you, body, soul, heart and mind

…But the TRUTH is that you deceived me with the illusions of beauty, promises and love. You took my heart and branded it with a lie. Your TRUTH has now become the burden of my heart…that is the TRUTH.

Natty ODou

YoU

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Your laughter burns my ears, in addition it causes me to experience a bitter taste in my mouth which makes my stomach to churn.  

Your smiles are like thorns tearing into my flesh pulling my skin piece by piece while cleverly pouring poison into my wounds.  

Your voice is like a piercing sound shattering my brain like glass, causing my hands to involuntarily grab my face, forcing my fingers into the sockets of my eyes pulling harshly on my eyeballs until they dislodge.

Your whole being causes me pain and misery, so why must you continue to exist?

Natty ODou

We..

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I remember you…You broke my heart at a very young age.
I saw you… You ignored me when I was drowning and laughed in my face.
I felt you…You stabbed me in my gut when I was down and watched as I bleed to death.
I heard you…You shouted my name as I took up the gun.  ”Do it!” you said with a cunning smile.  
…As I looked closer…I saw Myself…I saw you, I saw me…
I am my own enemy.

Natty ODou.

CriticaL

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*Critical Condition*…only you can shatter my heart into a million pieces with simple words spoken…as the pain engulfs me, I’m torn and broken
…with the splinters running through my veins I have no hope of recovery, my body is numb and darkens is upon me.

**Comatose**…only you can make my soul weep with the sound of your voice, only you can make my body shiver by your weapon of choice …”how do I save you?” you whisper in my ear with hope …But only you know the answer to what your spoken words have invoked.  

Natty ODou