I have no tears left the fuel is gone, I’ve broken into the reserve but the tank is empty…. don’t think that the pain is not there it still hurts like hell ….but the heart is now on autopilot trying to protect the pieces that was destroyed in the crash…. Savaging for anything that will get the heart running again. 

Natty ODou


D Aftermath 

Waiting for death, the death of my heart… 

The pain will be unbearable, the pain will be inevitable, the pain will be deep but would I survive or would I sleep? 

Fool! fool to think that I could survive this war…. A war of loss, love, hurt and pain, a war of raging emotions that remains the same. 

Waiting for death, for the welcome relief from sleepless nights, the constant reminder of my tainted life… Waiting for death. 

Natty ODou 

Happy New Year?… 

Why must we keep rehashing the issue? The physical pain I feel is remembrance enough to last a lifetime. I dream the pain I wake up in pain I move in pain I breath pain…. it could of been worse they say, but does that make the pain go away? 

Mentally my walls are cracked my back is broken and I’m not sure how to get my sanity back…. I know the physical will eventually leave but who will fix the mental piece…. 

Dreams of rage of fire of shame, dreams of dying as the shots runs though my brain…. So why must we keep rehashing?….

Forget, I want to forget but how do I achieve that when the chants becomes louder “You deserve it” they say, you know it will never go away it was part of their plan so will you let it stand or will you open your hand and give your dart a chance to calm your heart and dance?

 Pop a pill to ease the pain pop a pill so your dark remains sane ….Now I see that this is why they take their lives and the others too ….the dark is strong and it’s getting stronger… Pop a pill to make it weak will they know that the struggle is real?… No, no because If we continue to tell ourselves that it was us that caused the pain, then we can keep the dark at bay…. “Move slow” don’t listen…”breath calm” don’t listen… “break the restraint” don’t listen….When will it stop?! 

To my wife… 

Do you ovastand that you are my world?  That the sun does not shine brighter in my eyes than you? 

Do you ovastand that you affect my mind my heart and my body by simply existing?

When I think of losing you I think of my world ending, soul being torn out and my body drained of blood tears.

Ovastand that my heart beats with your every smile, pulse races from the look in your eyes and breathing is possible by your presence.
Ovastand that you are and will forever be my soul mate. 

I will always find you like I did in this life and the next.  Death and beyond my Drago.

Natty ODou 

I lay here in my safe bed of anger, hurt and pain, I lay here wondering why they think we’re all the same… My skin is brown my brother’s too,   my hair is woolly and my braids are strewed…. I cry tears of loss, tears of hopeless crimes, my faith is shattered from the constant killing of my time…outlet, I need to find a place in my hearth to breath because my rage at this moment is deadly unreal.
Natty ODou 


I get nervous when I talk, it’s like someone has a gun to my head and is about to pull the trigger. My heart races my pulse quickens and my sweat glands pours my heart out like tears.
I get nervous when I talk, to give you my opinion is like cutting myself and giving you my blood…It’s hard to talk about my feelings, it’s hard to open up, it’s hard to surrender my all.

Natty ODou



AQuackaty quackaty quack
I went outside my hut,
I looked around,
a duck was down,
quackty quackaty quack.

Quackaty quackaty quack,
I bent to fix his flat,
I turned around,
he plucked my brow,
quackaty quackaty quack.

Quackaty quackaty quack,
I blew his brains out flat,
I turned around
And licked my tongue,
Quackaty quackaty quack.

Natty ODou