We are all we have, we are all we know, we are all we need….
When our hearts bleed for hope and justice, when our brains scream for the clarification of injustice….we turn to eachother, we turn to our brothers and sisters for STRENGTH, for HEALING, for HOPE….
When tears run dry and hopes are shattered we look up to our God our ansestors our spiritual entity .…Whoever we pray too or see as our savior we cry to you and we pray for PEACE. One Love.
I am many…yet I am few, the shell of one, the body of them.
My interests varies from A to Z, my style is multicolor with a black base… So who am I?
I am me.
I am not defined by your standards, my complex ways may appear indecisive but keep in mind that this body is just a shell…if broken, I will not be able to contain the many that dwells within…they will all become their own person which will bring about chaos…so this shell will remain intact as I continue to skip and dance in new adventures determine to occupy the many sides of me… because my days and nights never ends.
My hell is personally charged of my sins, mistakes and pain…
Sins of the heart and flesh, mistakes made that has inflicted pain on those I love or have once loved… Causing confusion and doubts in the hearts of those I hold dear…
My hell is the constant uncertainty of my actions, the heart wrenching ache of hopelessness… My hell is the loop of reality in reliving that hell everyday.
Like clockwork the routine never changes…
Tic you wake,
You smile but feel no joy, then awake but feel no peace…
With your heart in turmoil and mind at war, your body is tired and ready to fall…
You are STRONG! they chant…. but what is strength? A way to move on to the next day without giving in?
To feel peace again is all you ask, joy will come once your heart is masked….
so you wait…tic tic tic…
I will be your Queen and you my King… I will be in your arms again.. until then I will live my peasants life, visiting you only in my dreams….reliving every moment of your smile, your kiss, your touch… Until then I will cling to the notion of a next lifetime….
I will wait for you in my dreams because my heart will forever be open to you my King, now and always.
I have no tears left the fuel is gone, I’ve broken into the reserve but the tank is empty…. don’t think that the pain is not there it still hurts like hell ….but the heart is now on autopilot trying to protect the pieces that was destroyed in the crash…. Savaging for anything that will get the heart running again.
Waiting for death, the death of my heart…
The pain will be unbearable, the pain will be inevitable, the pain will be deep but would I survive or would I sleep?
Fool! fool to think that I could survive this war…. A war of loss, love, hurt and pain, a war of raging emotions that remains the same.
Waiting for death, for the welcome relief from sleepless nights, the constant reminder of my tainted life… Waiting for death.